Dear Duties: Bridesmaids and Groomsmen Roles and Responsibilities

via CC Photography

So, you have made the cut -- you’re a part of one of the most important milestones of a dear friend or a family member. From a long list of mates, the bride and groom deemed you important to not just witness their exchange of “I dos” and close enough to them to be a part of their official bridal gang – exciting!

Aside from feeling flattered and honored that they have chosen you as part of the coveted entourage, you might feel confused as to what your actual role will be. What are the ways you can lend a hand and just how crucial your post will be?

Contrary to modern beliefs, the duties and responsibilities of the bridesmaids and groomsmen don’t just start on the wedding day itself. From the moment you are chosen, there are simple tasks that you are expected to do. These tasks are in no way demanding and tough, but they are key to making the event successful and the couple happy. You have a hand in easing the stress from the engaged couple and a part in making the wedding extra special.

Scoring a bridesmaid or a groomsman post doesn’t just mean just walking down the aisle and standing in the receiving line. Involves a little bit of effort and commitment. As one of the couple’s nearest and dearest, you are expected to extend support whenever they ask for it. That is, of course, if within reason. This is why you have to make sure that once your friend pops the question if you could be one of her bridesmaids or one of his groomsmen, you are wholeheartedly ready and willing. Here are some of the functions that you should anticipate as part of the entourage:

PRE-WEDDING: Bridesmaids and Groomsmen Roles and Responsibilities

Emotional Support

For the bridesmaids...

Organizing a wedding is not always rainbows and butterflies, it can also come with a lot of stress and challenges. When things get tough, be ready to extend emotional support to your friend. Let her know that you’ll be by her side every step of the way. If the pressure gets to her, take her out for a breather and be generous with words of affirmation. If she asks for advice, be honest and give a genuine take. If she needs a shoulder to cry on, gladly offer yours.

For the groomsmen...

Men are not known to show their emotions but that doesn’t mean that you don’t have to let the groom know that you’re one call away if ever he finds himself needing some emotional help. Groomsmen, like bridesmaids, should always lend an ear and spare some attention when the wedding jitters set in.

Vision Buddy

For the bridesmaids...

One exciting task of being a bridesmaid is helping the bride make her dream wedding a reality. This starts with drawing up ideas, creating vision boards, and crafting plans. You above all people know the bride’s taste and preferences so it would thoughtful if you can send her helpful materials to make the planning journey easier. Start with cute Pinterest boards and romantic wedding inspirations that you find online. You can also assist her with scouting for beautiful venues, wedding suppliers, and honeymoon destinations. Every help counts.

Just a tip: be assertive but do not be pushy and overdo it. The bride will surely be touched by the effort but she will be the one who’ll ultimately decide on what she wants.

via J O S H A M O R

For the groomsmen...

The groom usually lets the bride decide and work on most of the creative aspects of the wedding like theme, motif, and design. Some wedding elements you can help the groom with are the wedding transport, logistical strategy, bookings for the honeymoon, and of course, the men’s attire. If you have a go-to tailor, you are encouraged to recommend it. You can also find referrals from your network to help make the couple’s wedding planning a breeze.

Helping Hand

For the bridesmaids...

The bride can sometimes find her hands full with a lot of wedding planning must-dos so as a bridesmaid, you have to be ready to step up and do unexpected errands for her. You can gather the whole girl gang and delegate tasks. The more help extended, the easier the errands will be accomplished.

For the groomsmen...

As a groomsman, you are the groom’s go-to person whenever a wedding-related need arises. Let him know that you can spare time to take some tasks off his hand. This may include picking up relatives from the airport, grabbing last-minute items from the mall, and even picking up tuxedos from the shop.

Party Planner

via Myosotis Wedding

For the bridesmaids...

Together with the maid-of-honor, the bridesmaids are expected to organize a send-off party for the bride. First, there’s the bachelorette where you dedicate a day of fun and entertainment to the bride. There are a lot of themes you can explore but it is best to consider the bride’s preferences. There’s also the bridal shower to consider which is more intimate. If there are time and budget constraints, you can just choose from any of the two. But if you are up for anything, go for both. That’s a twin treat for your lovely bride.

You can do the bachelorette and bridal shower indoors, outdoors, at home, or even out of town. It is expected that the bridesmaids and maid-of-honor foot the bill in both. The best way to do this is to plan it with the other bridesmaids so you can smoothly pull off the surprise and split the price equally after.

Speaking of parties, as a bridesmaid, you are also expected to attend other gatherings set up by the couple before their wedding like the ceremony rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. It will also be nice if you can give (not required) a small token or gift for their wedding. You can also split this with other members of the entourage.

For the groomsmen...

Just like the maid-of-honor and the bridesmaids, the best man and groomsmen are expected to throw a last hurrah for the groom. Stag and bachelor parties are the popular choices but you can also do something more laidback like a fishing expedition or a camping trip. You can depend this on what activities the groom is usually inclined to do. Similar to the female entourage, it is a tradition that the friends cover the expenses for this.

The male entourage is known to take the rowdier route when it comes to couple send-offs but you have to remember and make sure that whatever activity you’ll do, you maintain high respect for the bride.

Fashion Partner

For the bridesmaids...

Choosing the attire and overall look for the wedding can be overwhelming for the bride. Make it easier for her by assisting with all her fashion needs. You can go accompany her to designer appointments and dress fittings as well as on shopping trips for all other accessories like her shoes, intimates, and jewelry. You can also keep her company during consultations with make-up artists and hairdressers.

This area also includes securing your bridesmaid’s dress. Some brides cover the expenses of their bridesmaids but in the chance that she won’t, be ready to purchase your own. Consider this as a favor you can give to a friend. Just make sure that the dress you will buy follows the style, color, and cut that the bride wants. It won’t hurt if you ask for her approval before you check out.

Once the bride has relayed what she wants her entourage to wear, it’s advisable that you make the arrangements early to stay with the timeline and avoid delays. Head on to Cicinia for trendy and beautiful bridesmaids' dresses.

via J O S H A M O R

For the groomsmen...

The major wardrobe assignment for groomsmen is ensuring that the tuxedos are all set and ready. Another small effort you can do is to remind everyone that their suits must be clean and steamed before the big day. Cuff links, ties, vests, handkerchiefs, and belts must also be secured.

DIY Duties

For the bridesmaids and groomsmen...

Some brides prefer to work on some of the elements of the wedding instead of hiring vendors and suppliers. When this happens, volunteer, offer assistance, and get those creative juice flowing. Schedule crafting nights or offer to visit stores to purchase materials if you have extra time. Gestures like this will surely make the bride feel extra special.

Crafting is not just for the girls so if the groom asks you to help with favors and decors, make sure that you are present. You can ask as a runner for additional materials or be the designated driver for the day.

Bosom Bond

For the bridesmaids and groomsmen...

The wedding entourage usually comes from different groups and backgrounds so as a bridesmaid or a groomsman, it is encouraged that you break the ice and bring everyone together to dissolve any awkwardness and form bonds with everyone. This way, you can make the ambiance lighter and you can work better as a team. Be nice, be kind, avoid unnecessary drama, and always offer a smile.

WEDDING DAY: Bridesmaids and Groomsmen Roles and Responsibilities

Awesome Assistant

via Photographe Vidéaste Mariage Normandie Bretagne

For the bridesmaids...

If there’s a moment when you should give the bride your undivided attention, it’s during the day of the wedding. This is where you should take the role of being a bridesmaid seriously. Usually, the bride delegates the tasks to every bridesmaid but it is always a good idea to be prepared if anything unexpected comes up.

As a bride’s “assistant,” make sure to come on time for the preparation (usually, the bride and her bridesmaids get their hair and make-up done together). If you have items in your care like important documents, make sure they are with you and are in good condition. It is best for all the bridesmaids to touch base with the planner so you'll have an idea about all the details of the wedding. Talking to the planner will also show you a clear vision of how the wedding should unfold.

Other things you can assist the bride: help her with the gown, shoes, and accessories. Compliment her to ease her nervousness. Bring some snacks just in case she gets hungry. Have tissue or make-up on hand just in case she needs retouching. Don’t complain or show annoyance if things don’t go to plan. Remember, it’s the bride’s day, not yours.

For the groomsmen...

On the day of the wedding, be your best self and step up to the task of assisting the groom the best way you can. You can talk to the planner so he or she can walk you through the whole program. Familiarize yourself with the seating plan and inspect the venue. Do headcounts of the male entourage, distribute boutonnieres, and run through the groom with his vows -- simple gestures that may be overlooked by others.

Sweet Service

via Hazydaze Weddings

For the bridesmaids...

Aside from assisting the bride, there are other tasks ahead of you during the wedding day. Before the ceremony and at the reception, you can stand in as an usher for the guests. Greet them with a smile and offer some small talk. Lead them to their seats or the refreshment area. Think of it as if you are an extension of the couple and welcome them warmly to the affair.

Another small act that you can do is help keep an eye on other members of the entourage especially the younger ones like the flower girls and ring bearer. You can check if they are happy and comfortable to avoid tantrums and ensure that they will walk down the aisle.

After the wedding, you can also help the couple sort out their gifts.

via ᖴOKISS ᑭᕼOTOGᖇᗩᑭᕼY

For the groomsmen...

There are still a lot of functions you can do as a groomsman on the day of the wedding. Before the event starts, you can join the bridesmaids in welcoming and greeting the guests – you can even man the guest book. If they need assistance finding the powder room or if they need anything, you can lend them a hand. And once the celebration gets wild, you can also act as a bouncer for guests who find themselves with one too many.

Fun and Pose

via Rocky Mountain Bride

For the bridesmaids and groomsmen...

Weddings are supposed to be fun so as important parts of the entourage, you have to make it your mission to make the affair lively and enjoyable, not just for the couple but also for the guests. Dance, cheer, join games, and be involved with the program. Join the bouquet and garter toss if you are single. Let the couple know through your actions that you are enjoying the most important day of their life.

Lastly, weddings involve a lot of picture-taking so bring out your A-game and smile and pose in every photo. Remember that these pictures are something the couple will look back at fondly in the coming years.